We all marry with the hopes of leading a good life with our spouses. We don’t envisage being unhappy in our marriages. Yet, at one time or another, for whatever reasons, all couples will go through hardships in their lives and marriages.
For some couples, marriage is a bumpy road from the start. For others, the disintegration of happiness happens over time. But all, at some point, will journey through the hills and valleys of marriage. The key is to recognize the kind of marriage you have so to take the necessary steps to make changes. Together carving a good life and grow old…still in love!
It would take perhaps two seasons to describe the dragon that can rip relationship and marriages to shreds if proper care is not taken. Today with these 5 points taken into consideration you can enjoy the best marriage ever:
1. Selfishness: (1 Corinthians 13:4-5) They are two kinds of people in the world, the givers and the takers. A marriage between two givers can be a beautiful thing. Friction is inevitable for a giver and a taker. But two takers can claw each other to pieces within a period of weeks. Selfishness will devastate marital partners in a very short while. Selfish people don’t add value to a relationship and help it grow.
2. Two Conflicting Personalities: (Amos 3:3) The couples may have different personalities that don’t fit together, different lifestyle, rhythms or differing opinions regarding how something is done. For instance, how the kids should be disciplined, or how money should (or not) be spent. These couples often wonder whether or not they should be together if they are so different. They become stuck in a negative cycle of disconnect. It was love at first sight and they become husband and wife without knowing much of each other. Subsequently, they can begin to focus more on their differences and begin to tell a negative story about their relationship.
3. Sexual Frustration: (1Corintians 7:5) Depriving your partner of sex all for your own selfishness will lead to infidelity. It is a deadly combination!
4. Business Collapse or Job Loss: This is a situation whereby the man can no longer provide for the family. Failure in work does bad things to men especially. Reversal in financial fortune sometimes precipitates anger within the family. It is almost as risky to succeed wildly as it is to fail miserably in business. King Solomon wrote: “Give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread” (Proverbs 30:8). The whole thing is about the souls that is damned by success.”
5. Lack of Godly Communication: (Ephesians 4:25-29, Proverbs 15:1)
Lack of good communication between spouses is one of the problems in marriages and is as old as the creation of the earth. Communication of love to our spouses leaves no room for hurtful words.
In conclusion, our purpose in marriage should be to focus on being of the same mind, praying with and for one another so that in one accord and one voice we can confront whatever is bedevilling our marriages. This can be achieved through compromise towards one another.
I pray people will get mature and learn from others and start praying for Godly restructuring. SHALOM.
Tubokun Akinsade is the senior pastor of Fountain of Living Waters in Berlin.