God instituted marriage as the pinnacle of creation. Gen 1:27-28 tells us that “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them”. “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” Further in Gen 22:
There are so many issues with modern day marriage. We now live in a world where dysfunctional marriage and family breakdown have now become the social norm, illegitimacy and divorce are widespread. Young adults today are very confused about marriage as a result of marriage dysfunction.
Many marriages become stuck because forgiveness is not a central tenet of the marriage. When problems arise, most couples become absolutely mired in a tit-for-tat cycle that puts their relationship to the brink of disaster.
One of the main reasons for breakdown in marriages today is the inability to forgive one another. Forgiveness is generally defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has hurt you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. The bible has a lot to say about forgiveness and how important it is to forgive others as we have been forgiven through the blood of Christ. In light of this, God commands that in return, we forgive others and extend grace as we have been shown grace.
Now, in marriage it can sometimes be very difficult to forgive your spouse, depending on what the offence is. When we forgive our spouse, we are not saying that what they have done is OK neither does it excuse what they have done. Also, it doesn’t make things alright, but we are realising them to God and letting go of its hold on us, and more so God still expects us to forgive.
Speaking from a personal place, I struggle a lot with forgiveness, in my moment of anger and bitterness, all I want to do is revenge and I can truly testify that it greatly hinders my walk with Christ. But then how do I deal with it? I am quick to run to the word of God (Bible). Matthew 6:14 tells us that if we forgive them then God will forgive us also. Mark 11:25 says “And when you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses”. Luke 6:37 says “Judge not, and you shall not be judged: condemn not, and you shall not be condemned: forgive, and you shall be forgiven:, with these scriptures in mind I tap into the grace of God that is sufficient for me and His strength that is perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Ideally the one who has hurt you should apologize and compensate for what they’ve done as well. However, it is important to make sure that your healing is independent of that. You should forgive regardless of their stance. Their sins are between them and God, and they will also someday stand before God’s face and give account for their actions, and God is righteous above all else. But judgment and vengeance belong to God. “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, …………., Vengeance is Mine, I will repay”, says the Lord (Romans 12: 19).